Raising children in Islam is a serious MATTER; the Muslim family is an important pillar in the society. The verses in the Qur’an order doing good to kids, because they are a trust from Allah…
“Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is stones and men…” (Surah At-Tahrim: 6)
The Prophet (sallahu alayhi wa salaam) said: “Every one of you is a guardian over his flock and he is responsible for his flock.” (Reported by Buhkari/Muslim)
Beneficial statements in raising children in Islam
1. Choosing a proper mate is important in raising children in Islam (child will take on characteristics of the mother).
2. Make dua for righteous child (this is manhaj of the righteous).
3. Important to understand that children are a gift from Allah (No burden should be felt when attending to their needs).
4. It’s prohibited to dislike female children.
5. Seek Allah’s help in raising children. (one who doesn’t seek help will lose).
6. Be concerned with constantly making du’a for your children (avoid making du’a against them) the prophet said: “Do not make du’a against yourself or your children.” (Reported by Sahih Muslim).
7. Choose good proper names for children and avoid bad names. (It affects behavior) Ibnul Qayyim said: “It is rare that you find someone with a bad name accept that they have a bad character.”
8. Place in their heart the aqeedah saheeha, and be constant in it. (The testimonies of faith, issues of Tawheed, The Ulooh of Allah, etc).
9. Show concern for learning the Book of Allah with the highest concern (Day and night -memorizing it).
10. Teach them good manners and keep them far removed from evil manners and the like ( 1.Goodness 2. Taqwa 3. Hilm 4. Eating with right hand 5. Speaking with respect to elders- 1. Keep them away from lying 2. and disobedience to parents).
11. Teach them the forms of remembrance of Allah.
12. Parents be good examples for children (see parents make Salah, see us practice what we say).
13. Remove evil from home, far away from home (1. Magazines, 2. T.V., 3. Pictures, 4. radio).
14. Father show concern for boy, building him upon manhood (1. Keep them busy, striving, active, 2. Don’t keep them lazy, 3. Teach them roughness (manhood).
15. Teach responsibility, self dependent (confident) trust them with affairs.
16. Father should spend time with children, no matter how busy he is.
17. Father should take children to the Masjid (1. especially at age (7), 2. when older, order them to go to the Masjid
18. Take them to lectures of knowledge
19. Show that you are paying attention to them (1. Don’t turn away to right or left, 2. especially small children)
20. The parents (especially the father) should watch a child from a distance (1. Wudu, 2. Salah, 3. Relationships, 4. Clothes, 5. What they are reading)
21. Choose the best Islamic School for Child (1. Investigate Staff, 2. Look at school companions)
22. The parents should have understanding between them (1. Show no disagreement in front of them, 2. The child will be more influenced by home than street)
23. If Talaaq takes place, parents should fear Allah and not use kids to their advantage (make the child hate the other) child will leave or not want to deal with neither one of them.
The parents shouldn’t look at this Tarbiyyah as being useless. From the beginning it will seem to be no benefit, but it might benefit later on.
Even if you don’t see it in your lifetime it might happen after your death, and or Allah will reward you in Jinnah.