Khadijah, Reoccurring Dreams
Written by Dr. Ragheb Elsergany
I am a sister; I reverted two years ago in January of 2000 at the age of 16. I live in Australia and grew up in a large catholic family that suffered a divorce when I was 10 years old. From that moment I always felt very lost and as if I didn’t belong anywhere. My mother now tells me that even when I was 4 years old I would refuse to go to Sunday school or church and do anything to get out of it, the case was also the same when I was given scripture lessons at school. It wasn’t until I was 14 I tried to learn about my religion….but it seemed like a lost cause, every time I read the bible or a book on Catholicism nothing made sense, there were just no straight answers to questions I had about life and its purpose. One day I came across Islam in a religion book. I did not know anything about Islam except a whole lot of common misconceptions learned through the media and the people around me.
So I thought I would read to see if what I had heard about this religion was true……well none of it was, women were equal and had a higher status than in Christianity, Muslims believe in Jesus and so on. I continued reading many books just on Islam, I had a boyfriend who was Muslim but he couldn’t answer any of my questions so I continued reading. I had thought about reverting but was not 100% sure until I started to have reoccurring dreams where I was wearing hijab, reciting the Quran in Arabic (at that time I didn’t know any Arabic) and sitting with other women wearing hijab. Another dream I was in a desert with a very old man, I was crying and scared and he put his hand on my shoulder and said it was ok and to come with an urgent expression on his face, I woke up straight away and was crying, but it wasn’t a sad cry it was a cry of relief. After that I took shahada alhumdulilah. My parents didn’t know I was Muslim for the first year, I didn’t even come out and tell them, they just realized because I was always reading books and defending Islam profoundly when they discussed negatively about it. My mother is supportive of me in everything I do her only objection is me wearing hijab, but inshallah soon she will accept. My 2 year relationship with my boyfriend quickly ended as I became more dedicated to Islam, but alhumduliah it was for the best he was not interested in learning more about his religion even though i tried endlessly. It was not until the last few weeks I actually became friends with some sisters. My area I live is almost Muslim free so I never had the chance to meet any sisters. I had to teach myself how to pray from books, everything I learned was from books alhumdulilah. I will never forget the first time I went to the mosque. The car drive down my heart was beating so fast and I was so nervous thinking what if I do something wrong? As I walked up the stairs it was like a dream, I didn’t know what to expect, I took off my shoes and as I walked through the door I couldn’t catch my breath, I felt faint and then when praying the ishaa I had never felt so at peace and secure it was as if it was not real to good to imagine. Compared to USA Australia does not have many reverts as we do not even have a formal revert organization as yet, so at times it can be hard for reverts to have somewhere to turn to as we are not as common here. But inshallah soon we will be forming an organization. I am 100% sure that Islam is the only way….and I thank Allah with all my heart for guiding me towards Him.