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God instructs men to be nice to their wives and to treat them well to the best of their ability:<\/p>\nGod instructs men to be nice to their wives and to treat them well to the best of their ability:<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026And live with them in kindness\u2026\u201d (Quran 4:19)<\/p>\n
The Messenger of God said, The most perfect of believers in belief is the best of them in character.\u00a0 The best of you are those who are the best to their women.\u2019<\/a>[1] \u00a0The Prophet of Mercy tells us that a husband\u2019s treatment of his wife reflects a Muslim\u2019s good character, which in turn is a reflection of the man\u2019s faith.\u00a0 How can a Muslim husband be good to his wife? \u00a0He should smile, not hurt her emotionally, remove anything that will harm her, treat her gently, and be patient with her.<\/p>\n Being nice includes good communication.\u00a0 A husband should be willing to open up, and be willing to listen to his wife.\u00a0 Many times a husband wants to air his frustrations (like work).\u00a0 He should not forget to ask her about what annoys her (like when children would not do their homework).\u00a0 A husband should not talk about important things with her when he or his wife is angry, tired, or hungry.\u00a0 Communication, compromise, and consideration are the cornerstone of marriage.<\/p>\n Being nice includes encouraging one\u2019s wife.\u00a0 The most meaningful admiration comes from a sincere heart that notices what really matters \u2014 what the wife really values.\u00a0 So a husband should ask himself what she feels most insecure about and discover what she values.\u00a0 That is the wife\u2019s sweet spot of praise.\u00a0 The more the husband compliments it, the more the wife will admire it, the more on target this healthy habit will be.\u00a0 Kind words are like, \u201cI like the way you think,\u201d \u201cYou look beautiful in those clothes,\u201d and \u201cI love hearing your voice on the phone.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Human beings are imperfect.\u00a0 The Messenger of God said, \u201cA believing man should not hate a believing woman.\u00a0 If he dislikes something in her character, he should be pleased with some other trait of hers.\u201d<\/a>[2] \u00a0A man should not hate his wife because if he dislikes something in her, he will find something he likes about her if he gives it a chance.\u00a0 One way to be aware of what he likes in his wife is for the husband to make a list of a half dozen things he appreciates about her.\u00a0 Marriage experts recommend that one be as specific as possible and focus on character traits \u2014 just as the Prophet of Islam recommended, not just what she does for the husband.\u00a0 For example, a husband may appreciate the way she arranges his clean laundry, but the underlying character trait may be that she is thoughtful.\u00a0 The husband should consider admirable traits such as being compassionate, generous, kind, devout, creative, elegant, honest, affectionate, energetic, gentle, optimistic, committed, faithful, confident, cheerful, and so on.\u00a0 A husband should give himself some time to construct this list, and review it in times of conflict when he is most likely to feel averse towards his wife.\u00a0 It will help him be more aware of his wife\u2019s good attributes and far more likely to compliment them.<\/p>\n A companion asked the Prophet of God what is the right of a wife over her husband?\u2019 \u00a0He said, \u201cThat you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and do not strike her face.\u00a0 Do not malign her and do not keep apart from her, except in the house.\u201d<\/a>[3]<\/p>\n Conflict in marriage is virtually inevitable and it leads to lot of anger.\u00a0 Although anger is one of the most difficult emotions to manage, the first step toward controlling it can be learning how to forgive those who hurt us.\u00a0 In case of conflict, a husband should not stop talking to his wife and emotionally hurt her, but he may<\/em> stop sleeping in the same bed if<\/em> it will improve the situation.\u00a0 Under no circumstance, even when he is angry or somehow feels justified, is a husband allowed to malign her by using hurtful words or cause her any injury.<\/p>\n