Khadijah, Reoccurring Dreams

Written by Dr. Ragheb Elsergany

I am a sister; I reverted two years ago in January of 2000 at the age of 16.  I live in Australia and grew up in a large catholic family that suffered a  divorce when I was 10 years old. From that moment I always felt very lost  and as if I didn’t belong anywhere. My mother now tells me that even when I  was 4 years old I would refuse to go to Sunday school or church and do  anything to get out of it, the case was also the same when I was given  scripture lessons at school. It wasn’t until I was 14 I tried to learn about  my religion….but it seemed like a lost cause, every time I read the bible  or a book on Catholicism nothing made sense, there were just no straight  answers to questions I had about life and its purpose. One day I came across Islam in a religion book. I did not know anything  about Islam except a whole lot of common misconceptions learned through the  media and the people around me.

So I thought I would read to see if what I  had heard about this religion was true……well none of it was, women were  equal and had a higher status than in Christianity, Muslims believe in Jesus  and so on. I continued reading many books just on Islam, I had a boyfriend  who was Muslim but he couldn’t answer any of my questions so I continued  reading. I had thought about reverting but was not 100% sure until I started  to have reoccurring dreams where I was wearing hijab, reciting the Quran in  Arabic (at that time I didn’t know any Arabic) and sitting with other women  wearing hijab. Another dream I was in a desert with a very old man, I was  crying and scared and he put his hand on my shoulder and said it was ok and  to come with an urgent expression on his face, I woke up straight away and  was crying, but it wasn’t a sad cry it was a cry of relief. After that I  took shahada alhumdulilah. My parents didn’t know I was Muslim for the first year, I didn’t even come  out and tell them, they just realized because I was always reading books and  defending Islam profoundly when they discussed negatively about it. My mother  is supportive of me in everything I do her only objection is me wearing  hijab, but inshallah soon she will accept. My 2 year relationship with my  boyfriend quickly ended as I became more dedicated to Islam, but  alhumduliah it was for the best he was not interested in learning more about  his religion even though i tried endlessly. It was not until the last few  weeks I actually became friends with some sisters. My area I live is almost  Muslim free so I never had the chance to meet any sisters. I had to teach  myself how to pray from books, everything I learned was from books  alhumdulilah. I will never forget the first time I went to the mosque. The car drive down  my heart was beating so fast and I was so nervous thinking what if I do  something wrong? As I walked up the stairs it was like a dream, I didn’t  know what to expect, I took off my shoes and as I walked through the door I  couldn’t catch my breath, I felt faint and then when praying the ishaa I had  never felt so at peace and secure it was as if it was not real to good to  imagine. Compared to USA Australia does not have many reverts as we do not  even have a formal revert organization as yet, so at times it can be hard  for reverts to have somewhere to turn to as we are not as common here. But  inshallah soon we will be forming an organization. I am 100% sure that Islam is the only way….and I thank Allah with all my  heart for guiding me towards Him.

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